Interesting

So this thing happened.

My friend Addie interviewed me for her podcast "Alchemy of Art" and posted my blog so people could see more about my art. Problem is that I rarely posted about my art on my blog. In fact, I really only posted about my family. And I stopped posting about my family 6 years ago.

I have another blog that I posted about art, but I stopped posting there as well.

I make art, but the way I make art now is different than before. Because things change, and they will likely change again.

What changed 6 years ago is that  I had Facebook. I started the blog as a way to share stories and pictures with family all over the country, and Facebook made that easier than sitting down and writing a blog post.

Also, I was depressed. Maybe I should rephrase that. I had Depression. And it was hard to collect myself enough for making artwork. I'm through that part of my life, but it's been hard to reclaim the momentum of art-making.

And lastly, I started a new job. In the middle of my battle with Depression I took a job at Amaco, the American Art Clay Co. (Different from Amoco, the petroleum company, or Aamco, the car repair company). I started making art for the company. In the 4 years since I started working for Amaco I have focused most of my creative energy into my work for the company, which includes making ceramic sculpture and pottery for ads, making lesson plans, making videos, and helping with a variety of projects.

The art I make isn't personal, there is no artist statement on the wall. My name rarely shows up in the ads. Many projects aren't made by me alone. Often there are 2, 3, or even more people who are part of the process. I'm one of a team in making interesting, creative, fun, beautiful ceramics.

The way art is taught, thought about, mythologized, it is a solitary activity. The artist, singular, makes the art. The art goes to a gallery to be admired and the accolades go to the artist, singular. I'm not working in that model right now. And I don't mind. I don't feel like I've given something up. I feel like I've been given a licence to play.

And play I do. Every day.

Halloween 2010

I havne't shown the girls for quite awhile. They're great, healthy. Sabine loves preschool, Arabella is doing well in first grade (though she has trouble not chatting during class).


Halloween Festival 2010. Arabella as Frida Kahlo, Sabine as a Tiger (shere did her ears go?) and Arabella's friend Amber as a punk musician. Arabella took first place for Kindergarten through first graders for her costume. Thanks to Ruth in L.A. for most of the costume (like 90%. I made the shawl, the rest is from Ruth's daughter).

Arabella with her new Felicity American Girl doll, a birthday present from Fairy God-mother Nancee and family. Arabella is crazy about Felicity, especially when she discovered that mommy and daddy lived on Felicity Street in New Orleans, and we considered naming her Felicity.

Weight Issues, a revisitation

Some of you who know me are aware I used to be the total low-carb addict. In 2002, when I got on a doctor's office scale and was shocked by the number, I went on Atkins, and became a strict low-carb dieter. In 4 months I lost 35 pounds, went down to a comfortable size 4-6, and maintained that weight another 6 months. Until I became pregnant. Low-carb and pregnancy don't mix.

Since having Arabella and Sabine I have struggled with my weight, never quite getting up to my 2002 high, but also never getting back to that Atkins low. It's nearly impossible to eat low-carb with kids in the house, trying to get them to eat a nutritious balance of foods while personally shunning every grain, every sugar. Seriously, who wants to cook a meal for the family that you can't eat?

And then last year, after I got down to what I considered a comfortable post-baby, nearing-middle-age weight (a loose size 8), I realized a few problems I was having with low-carb. And not just the "it's hard to keep it up when I'm feeding my kids pancakes" problems

First, when I was on a low-carb diet for more than three days I became really ... short-tempered. Hostile, even. Any little thing set me off. And when you have two high-spirited young children, being in a hostile and short-tempered state isn't good.

Second, I noticed a connection between low-carb dieting and back pain. I've had back pain most of my life -- I have scoliosis, and not a mild case -- and have done yoga and specific back strengthening exercises for many years. But beginning in 2002 (about 4 months after starting Atkins) I've had several episodes of back pain so intense that I couldn't walk, couldn't sit, and was taking vicodin, regardless of my activity level. Last winter I had another bout of back pain so bad that it delayed a road trip and made the trip back from my in-laws home agony. As soon as I went back to a "normal" diet the pain was gone. I can't prove a connection, but I believe that my diet was to blame. It is known that Atkins and other low-carb diets are hard on the kidneys, and one friend has suggested that the back pain might have been linked to my kidneys being overtaxed.

And since last January my weight has soared. I increased from a size 8 to a size 12 in less than 18 months, and felt uncomfortable in all my clothes. I was asked twice if I was pregnant.

So it is time to do something. Low-carb is out, so I am trying to attack my weight from both ends. I'm exercising at the gym at least 3 days a week and trying to get in 20 minutes of exercise every day. I'm eating a diet that is both lower in fat and lower in calories as well as higher in whole grains. It's closest to the Sugar Busters diet that many people in New Orleans used when Michael and I lived there in the 90's. So far I've lost 3 lbs and I've noticed I feel better.

And best of all, this is a diet that I can share with my kids, and not be eating differently than the rest of my family.

p.s. The books I'm using a references are The Carb Lover's Diet put out by Health Magazine, and Eat This, Not That, 2011 edition.

Sex Ed Gets Visual

Arabella, now 6 years old, tends to catch on to things late, but once she gets the idea she is all over it. With interest.

Last week we were headed to the babysitters house to drop off her sister when A asked where babies come from. We've already discussed this before, but I just briefly reviewed:

The egg and the sperm meet in the mommy's uterus and a baby grows.

Yeah yeah, she remembered all that. What she wanted to know was how they get there.

Um... Well, the egg is already there, inside the mommy's body, and the sperm comes from the daddy...

Yeah? How does it get in there then?

... Well, the daddy puts his penis inside the mommy's vagina, and that gets the sperm to the uterus to meet up with the egg (whew)

There was silence for a moment, then A asked "how does the penis get inside there?"

It just does. that's what it's there for, it's a sperm delivery system.

I could tell she was still working on that one, but I wasn't going to go into more detail unless she asked. We got about another block before she expressed her dissatisfaction and asked "can kids watch?"

Um, no. That's private. And for adults. (Why the hell isn't there a Dr. Seuss book for dealing with this stuff?)

Like I said, once she gets an idea she's all over it.

*ps. The book "Amazing You: Getting Smart About Your Private Parts," by Gail Saltz, is an excellent book about body parts and babies that leaves out the sex parts of procreation. It's good for preschoolers, but obviously my soon to be first grader has outgrown it.

Keeping Romance Alive

Last night Michael and I were in the dining room watching a program about a married couple in counseling, while Arabella finished eating her dinner. the couple had put their children before the marriage, and now the marriage was in trouble.

Arabella then went on to say that if Michael and I divorced she would be okay with that.

We were shocked.

Maybe she says this just so we won't be kissing in the kitchen any more. She really hates that.

***

A recent article online discussed how many Gen X parents aren't having sex as often as they would like. Although I would like to say I'm shocked I guess I really am not. As the article suggests, our generation is totally obsessed with kids, with the cult of perfect mommy-ness.

I'm not obsessed that way. I worry about Arabella reading, I delight in Sabine starting to count, but my identity is not tied up in being a mother. Maybe some of my mom friends see this as a failing of mine. I know a large number of home-school moms, and although I respect and even sometimes admire their dedication to their children's' education, I could never do it and I know that. Even as a child, I couldn't imagine making children the focus of my life -- what happens to the woman who is nothing but mother when her children fledge and move away from home? Who is she when the PTO meetings end? Where is her marriage?

So I work on keeping my marriage alive now.

We don't co-sleep. We did have each girl in a bassinet in our room until each was 5 months old, but then off to their own room and bed they went. Though I use the excuse that Michael is an active sleeper (and he is. There have been many times I have woken up to find him laying half on top of me. And he's not a little guy) and that I don't sleep when I have a toddler kicking me in the gut all night (also true) the real reason is that the bed is for Michael and myself. We might have a child in bed with us once in awhile, but it's rare and brief. I don't even like having toys in our room.

We talk. Not just about the kids or the dirty dishes, but about art and news and sex. I make time for him, and I give him time to do the things that interest him in return. I don't expect him to make time for me without giving something in return. And he is very generous with the time I take to do outside activities. We are supportive of each others hopes and aspirations, even if they have little to do with the life we live as a family.

It doesn't hurt that I think my husband is gorgeous and sexy and funny, as much now as when we met 16 years ago. I know we're older and heavier and not the same people we were back then, but none of that matters. I love him: that was why I wanted to marry him and have babies with him. The marriage, that union between two people in love, is the foundation of the family, and neglecting it for the lives of your children seems just insane. If it takes a village to raise a child, why would you neglect the village in your own house?

***

So I'm going to keep kissing my husband in the kitchen, and poor Bella will just have to get used to it.

Hi, missed me?

I know, it's only been seven months since I last posted.

Life happens. Neither shocking, nor tragic, nor entirely dull, it just goes...

So here is the short version of the past seven months:

Arabella graduated from preschool.

I took the girls to Los Angeles for two weeks. We had a great time, the girls rode Murphy, played in the Pacific Ocean, ate dim sum, and played with all the L.A. kids at the park with the nannies. I wanted to stay, and if Michael had been with us I might have refused to get on the airplane, but I missed my man.



I have goofy children.


Riding Murphy.


We visted friends Walter and Wendy and their offspring at their family cottage in PA. We had much fun and little William didn't seem to mind being the only boy under 30. I wonder if he'll feel the same way when he's 9.


Arabella started Kindergarten. She goes to a public school magnet program that she loves, but her teacher left after 6 weeks, so her learning has been a bit interrupted. Her new teacher is good, and things are settling in again. Arabella enjoys it, despite having to wear a uniform.


Sabine is talking, her first complete sentence was "DaddyIhababoo-boo." She also says things like "I no-know," complete with upturned palms, and makes siren noises when I'm driving. Maybe she thinks other drivers will get out of my way.


Michael had a show in Lafayette this fall, and his first review! All these years he has been painting and showing and he finally got a review, and it was a glowing one at that. I'm so proud of him, but I wish we had the sales to go along with it.




And I am not teaching this fall. Things have reached a point where none of my classes had enough students, and were all cancelled. Unfortunately, the only long-term classes I have been offered are on Saturdays, and paying a babysitter to watch the girls while I teach is not cost-effective, so I have had to decline. It's a bit sad, not teaching. Basically I am unemployed, but I am hopeful that I will be teaching again in the spring.


Everything else has been pretty much the same as ever.

Spring Things