Insecurity Check

I think Americans lack perspective. This morning I turned on the news and saw a piece on how some airlines are blocking passengers whose names happen to be the same as people on the no fly list (seriously, if the airline weren't doing this, the story would be how airlines were allowing people to fly even though their names appear on the no fly list!), or airport security is being overzealous about searching carry-on baggage and taking too long!

Most Americans who are complaining, I suspect, have never or rarely left the country. They have not seen how many other countries conduct airport security. For example, Italy has roaming guards openly carrying uzis.

In 1989 I went to Greece. On the flight there we were diverted to Boston 1 hour into our flight because someone left a shaving bag in the restroom and, fearing it might be an explosive device, we landed at the nearest airport. I knew it wasn't a "guidance problem" when we were greeted on the tarmac by a battalion of fire trucks and ambulances. It was a shaving bag. No one ever claimed it. We continued on to Athens.

On the way back, I admitted that my father had given me a camera, and suddenly I was marked. I had to answer repeated questions that suggested I was a suspicious character (Q: Why did you only buy your ticket the day before yesterday? HM? A: Because your rules for student travellers insist I can't buy my tickets -- even the return! -- more than 72 hours before the flight! ARG), and then go through another long Q&A at the second security checkpoint, then at the gate, in full view of the rest of the passengers I had all my luggage (an overstuffed backpack and a leather sack purse) searched repeatedly, all but shredded. They pulled out all my clothes and dumped them on a table. They searched my hat. They searched my posters. The head man yelled at me three times "EMPTY YOUR POCKETS!!" to which I finally had to yell "I DON'T HAVE ANY POCKETS!!!!" before he realized that I wasn't wearing cargo pants stuffed full of who-knows-what and went back to rummaging through my underwear. (I was wearing a peasant skirt and a t-shirt. No pockets.) When it was finally done and I had managed to wad my stuff back into my bags, I found a seat and the young man sitting nearby eyed me uneasily and edged away. Maybe it was my straw boater, but I think it was the stink of suspicion.

Flying into Saudi in 1984, the line to enter the kingdom was hours long. Our luggage was searched thoroughly, not for explosives, but for contraband. My god-mother had her Jane Fonda workout video confiscated earlier that year (pornographic), and I had heard stories of Santa-encrusted crystal smashed to bits in front of the owner. Anything suggestive or Christian was restricted and removed. Since we weren't stopping in Rhiyadh, but were continuing on, our line was a bit shorter, and being a woman my bag was not searched as completely as a man's would have been, but still a guard sifted through my bag.

Even before 9-11 I had gotten into the habit of removing my shoes at airport security, because since 1994 I have worn steel-toe Carolina Engineer boots (aka motorcycle crash boots, I'm on my 4th pair), and the steel toes activate the metal detectors. I started removing them when a security guard called for a pat-down. I have had some strange comments (Actual question: "Why does a little lady like you need to wear steel toe boots?" A: because when I drop a 50 pound box of clay on my foot I prefer that it not crush my toes), and strange looks and lots of other passengers who see me remove my boots and say "I thought they weren't making us take our shoes off?" No, this week they are not asking you to remove your flip-flops, but I always have to remove my boots.

Which brings me to my biggest annoyance with airport security -- what is verboten this week may be perfectly acceptable the next, with no rhyme or reason as to the restrictions. My knitting needles are a perfect example. On one trip to L.A. I double checked the TSA website and found that although crochet hooks were out that week, knitting needles were acceptable. But in L.A. a security guard opened my bag, rummaged around inside and came up with my cheap red aluminum needles. I didn't even let her speak, in one breath I said "Knitting needles are acceptable according to the TSA website. You can confiscate them if you want, but I want you to know the website says I can have them." Her mouth opened, then closed, then she stuck them in my bag and pushed the bag over to me. Maybe she was a knitter and was going to ask what I was working on, but I somehow doubt it. I put my boots on and walked away.