My celebrity hyperventilations

I grew up in West Los Angeles. My mother worked several years for an entertainment law firm, where she met many famous actors, directors, musians, etc. I sometimes would recognize celebrities at restaurants, stores, at the mall. And they look much like they do on tv, and I never really had much desire to talk to them, nor any particular concern they might talk to me. But maybe leaving Lala land makes one more sensitive to celebrity.

The most flustered I ever got about a celebrity was Laurie Anderson. (Not Pam of the wonder bust) Laurie Anderson, the performance artist / musician. I was a gallery guard in New Orleans (one of the dozen weird jobs I have had), and one sweltering August during a tech convention, we were having a sake party-cask opening event. I had a soda (a rare event in itself) and I saw a tiny woman with flyaway hair and a loose jacket eyeing me. I realized who she was at about the same moment that she walked over and said:

"Where can I get a soda?" If I hadn't been sure before, hearing her voice sealed it.

I gestured towards the hall where the coke machine hides and replied, as calmly as I could: "Mffwmm, whifflmm, gaah. Eck."

She gave me a wary look (part pity for the mute, part wariness for the crazy lady, part concern I was gagging on my coke) and went where I had gestured. I saw her later with her soda, and I suspect she was keeping an eye on me. To make sure I didn't get too close.