This morning I am spackling peaches into Sabine, while Arabella watches Lazytown and tries to sing along with songs she almost knows. I am now 39, and my life is not what I would have imagined 10 years ago. We live in the midwest, own a little house, I drive a minivan, have a vegetable garden, I joined a (Unitarian) church, and, fer cryin' out loud, I knit. I like knitting, I might even say I love knitting, but if someone had told me 10 years ago I would love knitting I would have smiled and edged away from the weirdo. Seriously, I was too busy and tough for something like knitting. I was a motorcycle boot wearing, pickup truck driving, unselfconsciously atheist-pagan, Mardi Gras partying, beer and martini drinking, serious sculptor.
Sometimes I am nostalgic for the life Michael and I had 10 years ago, where we could go to bed when we wanted and go out anytime without planning ahead, but when I really try to imagine my life without children, I cannot picture it. What would I be working towards? What would be the point? The quest for immortality through artwork seems pallid and selfish. Now, with two daughters, the smaller challenges are more interesting, keeping Arabella from hoarding snack foods in her room, keeping Sabine from developing rickets, keeping Michael happy and fed.
I share all kinds of things on this blog, my life, my childrens lives, my husband to a small degree. I put some of my art on the blog, some of my knitting. I don't share much about my husband's work life because that is his own, and I do not want to be responsible for that. I don't get too snarky because this is a blog for our family and friends, and although I have the capacity for great cattiness I refrain since this is PUBLIC. And momma always said if I can't say anything nice, don't say it, or just only say it to her so she can get a laugh. And as I get older I try to be more charitable. Glass houses and all that.
So I'm glad you dropped in, because sometimes I feel a bit isolated and different here in the midwest. But I'm getting used to it.
Friday, April 25, 2008
...How did I get here?
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3 comments:
Is the apt still available next door??? I think Frank, Evelyn, Marc & I should rent it!!! Love you, Your 43 year old MOM
I love this blog, I love keeping up with you guy! I agree with you on the deepness of having kids. It really does give purpose to me and to my life.
the apartment next door was rented by a NASCAR family. They are using an American flag as a porch awning.
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